As an author of cookbooks for children, I often get questions from parents about feeding kids—how much, what and how. While I have some practical experience in that area, I am primarily a food educator and recipe developer. In fact, I have struggled with eating issues myself. I was a super-picky eater as a child. If it wasn’t processed or familiar to me, I wouldn’t eat it. I think back now to my dinner plate at Thanksgiving when I was a kid—a scoop of corn, two dinner rolls, and the requisite piece of turkey about the size of a quarter. The New York Time wrote an article about me and this contradiction—how could such a picky kids grow up to write cookbooks?
Katja Rowell, M.D. saw this article about me and got in touch. Katja served as a family physician in rural and urban clinics, and at the University of Wisconsin Student Health Services. During that time, she was struck by the range of problems influenced by distortions in body image, eating, and weight. With prevention in mind, Katja has turned her attention to educating parents and health care providers about more effective approaches and interventions. She is founder of Family Feeding Dynamics, which provides family feeding interventions and parent, community and peer education. Her vision is to help all children, including those who have been labeled as “picky,” “over” or “under-eaters” find joy in eating while gaining life-long healthy body image, eating and fitness habits.
Katja and I found that we have many shared interests, especially making sure kids eat in the ways that feed and nourish them best. I wanted to share a taste of Katja’s knowledge with blog readers, especially since the Betty Crocker forums have had questions about kids and diet recently.
Interview with Child Feeding Expert Katja Rowell
Jill: What is the most important dietary issue facing kids and parents today?
Katja: If you read the papers and watch TV, you’d say obesity. While the rates of obesity in children have increased, at the same time we have eating disorders in younger and younger children, and two thirds of teens diet– many use extreme measures like fasting, laxatives and diet pills. Not to mention one in five kids in America experience real, ongoing hunger. Parents I talk to seem very unsure about how to feed their kids, they are confused, scared and frustrated. So, I would say the most important issue is the loss of a culture that supports normal feeding and eating. Abnormal has become the norm, and the answer to improving what our children eat is relearning how to feed them.
Jill: What practical change can parents make?
Katja: The answer sounds simple, but can be hard to do in our culture. Parents decide what, when and where a child eats, the child decides how much and if. Pioneered by my mentor Ellyn Satter, this Division of Responsibility takes the power struggle and conflict out of the equation. Timmy doesn’t lose face if he eats a vegetable. He eats it because he wants to grow up and master eating– not to get a reward or avoid punishment. If we pressure kids to eat more, they tend to eat less. If we pressure kids to eat less, they tend to eat more. Parents, if you put mostly nutritious food in front of your child most of the time, you are doing your job. I just got a comment from a mom on my blog that said just that. Once she backed off the pressure, her daughter ate better.
Jill: Is withholding dessert (“you can’t have a cupcake until you have four more bites of chicken”) an effective strategy?
Katja: Maybe in the short-term, but not if you want to raise a child that genuinely likes a variety of foods. I was just out to dinner with my daughter who is three who was happily eating noodles, broccoli and shrimp while we chatted about preschool. During the entire meal, the Dad at the booth behind us was begging his two year old to eat two bites of chicken to earn a donut. Not only was it a miserable meal for the whole family, but he never ate the chicken. Pressure backfires. This strategy also doesn’t honor hunger and fullness. A kid who isn’t hungry will overeat twice – once to get dessert, and again to finish it. My dessert advice is this: serve a small portion of dessert with the meal. Gasp– I know! If you can hang in there and ignore Gramma’s glaring, it’s the coolest feeling in the world to watch your kid eat a bite of ice-cream, then some carrot, then come ice-cream, then some chicken. And remember, fruit and yogurt are dessert too!
Jill: What do you think about schools having “no treat” policies for birthdays and celebrations?
I have mixed feelings. Ideally we would expand our definition of treats. Maybe a yogurt sundae bar, fresh sliced oranges or strawberry shortcake with real fruit that the kids help prepare. Try to present all foods in a positive way. The concern I have as a mom is the frequency of traditional treats in a classroom setting with birthdays and holidays. Also, snacks and meals should offer protein, carb and fat– not just sugar which might lead to an energy low and rebound hunger. Feeding children should celebrate variety– with fruits, vegetables, breads, and “treats” all in the rotation. Overly-restricted kids as young as four tend to eat more when they have access to treats, and report feeling guilty! We need to get guilt and shame out of our thinking about food.
Jill: What else would you like to share with blog readers?
Katja: It doesn’t have to be so hard! If you dread feeding your child– get educated, get help! The key is to keep the struggle out of feeding. Continue rotating your family foods through your child’s meals and snacks. Model eating a variety of foods, model self-love, ask your child, “Is your tummy full?” Eat family meals. Establish structured meals and snacks, and no grazing. There’s so much more! Just know– you can take anxiety and conflict off the menu, and your child will enjoy better variety and nutrition.